Saturday, November 14, 2009
Discover How Get Your Ex Back in 4 Easy Steps
Almost everyone in their life has had to go through a breakup. A breakup is a strange thing. Most things in life, the more you do them, the easier it becomes to do. With breakups no matter how many you've had to go through in the past, they certainly don't become easier to go through.
After a breakup, unless the relationship was completely terrible, most people desire to get their ex back. In fact, sometimes, even if the relationship was unhealthy, they still desire to get their ex back. You really shouldn't try to get back with your ex if they ever used physical violence or words to hurt you. That is not a healthy relationship. If you were in a relationship like that and your ex broke up with you, then consider yourself lucky.
Otherwise, most relationships follow a pretty predictable pattern. When you first meet someone everything is wonderful and new. They can do no wrong and you can do no wrong in their eyes. After a short while comfort sets in. You adjust to each other. When the newness is gone and the comfort is there things in the relationship change. The little quirks you were willing to overlook before actually bother you now.
There is an expression: “Familiarity breeds contempt.” Truer words couldn't be spoken for relationships. After a couple get comfortable and familiar with each other, trouble usually starts. This is exactly what tests the strength of the relationship. It takes work and effort to maintain a relationship. Sometimes, when things break, instead of getting repaired, the other person wants out of the relationship completely.
Do you believe, despite it being over, your relationship is worth salvaging, even if the other person made it clear, it's over? You need some answers on how get your ex back. Here are four steps you can take.
Saying you are sorry is one of the best how get your ex back methods. Even if it doesn't get your ex back, it's usually the best first step. Be sure that you say sorry for the right reasons. After a breakup it can be easy to blame yourself for everything. Remember, it takes two people to have a successful relationship. Knowing what exactly to apologize for is critical.
Whatever you do, when you apologize don't let your ex bait you into an argument. The biggest irony of saying sorry to an ex is that it can easily lead to another fight. If you say you're sorry, and your ex brings something else up, don't get defensive. Stay calm, keep your emotions, your ego, and your pride in check.
2.Sit down and talk things out
If your ex is up to it, set a time where both of you can sit down and talk. Whatever you don't beg, plead, cry, or force your ex into this. If they don't want to, then just go to the next step. If they do agree, you're going to have to keep your emotions in check. This isn't the time to get into a fight again. Make it clear to your ex that you have no desire to bring blame into the discussion.
You want to talk about the issues objectively. If you talk strictly about the issues without assigning blame, you'll get better results. It is best if you can get a therapist or an expert in the field of relationships involved with this, if at all possible.
3.Give some space
This may seem counter-intuitive to how get your ex back. You have to remember just because you want to talk to them or see them, doesn't mean they do. It is crucial to allow the partner some space. A brief time away from each other, before you try to win them back, will give you both time to cool down and a chance for them to miss you. If you're in touch with them all the time, they won't be able to miss you.
4.Show them you care about yourself
Prove to them that you care about yourself. If you seem desperate, clingy, and whiny, you will not succeed. If you sit around the house waiting for them to call or keep checking your email every few minutes hoping to get their message, you're not doing yourself any favors. Hang out with friends. Go to movies, go to concerts, go to the mall. Whatever, just get up and get out and live your life.
It's best if you're not there when your ex calls. Then they'll be wondering what you're doing. If you're out and your cell rings and its your ex, don't answer it. Let the call go to voice mail. The best thing to do is wait until the next day to call them back. Tell them you were busy, and you didn't have time to call them back. This will probably shock them. You may even be able to get them to pursue you again.
Get more tips on How To Get Your Ex Back from this awesome book that my wife now really loves...
What Yo Need To Know If You Want To Get Back Together With Your Ex.
If you truly want to get back together with your ex, you have to do a bit of soul searching. You must be totally honest with yourself. You have to decide if you and your ex get back together it will truly make you happy, and you won't wind up down the same road that caused the breakup in the first place. It's always easy after a breakup to only think of the good times. It's important that you try to be completely objective and think of both the good and bad times.
In reality, there are a few relationships that are unworthy of saving. If you and your ex spent more time fighting than you did doing something good and fun, then perhaps you should consider moving on. If they were physically or verbally abusive, it probably wasn't a healthy relationship. If they were mentally unstable, you probably are better off without them. If the relationship overall was a good one, and they weren't abusive, and they were of sound mind, the following should help you and your ex get back together.
Pestering and pushing your ex isn't a good idea. If you try to constantly get in touch with your ex; whether its by phone, email, text message, or stalking them you're going to do more harm than good. They will see this as a sign of desperation. This could actually push them further away than bring them closer to you.
Don't argue, beg, or plead with your ex about your past relationship. It's easy when you and your mind are all alone. Your mind manifests all sorts of “wrongs” that you may have done. Even when your ex broke up with you they may have gave you reasons why. Now, you're probably beating yourself up over them. You probably wish you had never done those things. The past is the past. This is the present.
If you get it in your mind that the relationship is currently over. You can't go back in time, though you probably wish you could. Concentrate on what is going on now. The only thing worse than obsessively contacting your ex is to beg or plead with them. Make promises how you'll change, etc...This won't help you and your ex get back together at all.
If you back off, give them some time, and live your life, you'll be doing yourself a big favor in more ways than one. You'll probably become more desirable to your ex, because you're allowing them to think about you and miss you. You'll also be helping yourself to live a happier, more fulfilling life too.
Few Tips That Will Help You To get Your Girlfriend Back
If you’re wondering, “Can I get my ex girlfriend back?” then the breakup probably wasn’t so devastating that you think the relationship can’t be saved. You’ll have to hope she feels the same way. If any hurt was caused during the split that you should apologize for, now’s the time to say you’re sorry. Being sorry and sincerely showing it is a good first step.
Can I get my ex girlfriend back by showing my sensitive side?
Well, there’s no guarantee you’ll get back together, but the odds tilt more and more in your favor when you do things right. Show her how much you miss her, and how sorry you are. Just pay attention to what she does. If your gestures of sorrow only make her angry—she throws away the roses or something dramatic like that, for example—change your tactics until you find that something she responds to.
If flowers or cards frustrate her, for example, maybe that’s because it’s easy to pick up the phone and order flowers or buy a card someone else wrote. Try putting yourself in her shoes and try to figure out something more appealing. Buy a blank card and write your own verse in it. It doesn’t have to rhyme, in fact it’s better if it doesn’t. Try to honestly express how you feel. Or pick flowers and present her with a bouquet you put together yourself.
A common complaint among women is that men aren’t thoughtful. Were you thoughtful during the relationship? Now you might be wondering, can I get my ex girlfriend back by being thoughtful? Not necessarily, but it’s one more step toward your goal of getting her back. Every positive thing stacks up, making it easier and easier for her to come back to you. Don’t expect things to happen right away, though.
If you spent your relationship rarely doing thoughtful things, or you only did them in the beginning, she’ll probably doubt the things you do now. Just be patient, and keep up your efforts. Don’t appear frustrated or angry. Do the thoughtful things because it feels good to make her happy, not because you’re working toward a goal.
Can I get my ex girlfriend back by dating other women?
If it’s been a long time since the breakup, and you’re still working on being thoughtful, a casual date seems harmless and may make her wish she was your date, but go too far and it could backfire.
Can I get my ex girlfriend back if she has a boyfriend?
The odds are against it, but if you can show her that she’ll be happier with you than the new boyfriend you’ll have a good chance. Being thoughtful will go a long way toward showing her that. Even if it seems hopeless, don’t give up.
If it appears she’s moved on, still send her a card you wrote just wishing her a great week. But don’t look as if you have any expectations. Your thoughtfulness might really impress her.
One other thing my friend, the points made above, are only just one step in the equation of getting your true love back. The important thing is to have a step by step plan that will lead you in your heartfelt pursuit.
Frankly, that's what I did when my true love dumped me. I followed a plan authored by T 'Dub' Jackson. When my cause was almost hopeless and I was dieing inside, it hauled me up by my bootstraps and helped me get my life's love back. It's called "The Magic of Making Up" and you can check it out at: http://getmyexbackguide.info
How to Keep a Woman Happy
Do you know how to keep a woman happy? Here is some advice on relationships for men.
The first advice on relationships item I have for you is to always be yourself. Many men don’t feel that they are good enough to catch a beautiful, sexy woman, so they put on a show. But a confident man is the sexiest beast around. Have you ever noticed that some of the ugliest guys have some of the prettiest women? That is because they display a level of confidence that is more attractive to women than physical looks.
Next, you should do the little things. This means offering to take her car in for an oil change or giving her a bag of Jelly Bellies (her favorite flavors) from time to time. Sometimes men think in terms of “grand gestures,” when it is the little things add up to long relationships.
This ties into the next piece of advice on relationships: appreciate her. You shouldn’t take her for granted. Let her know that you value her.
Next up is not obviously looking at other women when you are with her. Women think that you are comparing her to the woman you’re looking at. They don’t understand the whole concept of “the day I stop looking is the day I die.” This comes from the biological drive for monogamy in women. Women are looking for a lifetime partner for a man with whom they can raise children. They can’t help it. That’s how evolution designed them. So minimize the ogling, especially when she’s around.
You should try to make her laugh. While men list good looks at the top of the things they need in a woman, women list a man’s sense of humor. So, if you want the relationship to last, keep her laughing.
The next bit of advice on relationships comes in seeking common interests. It’s great if you got together because of a hobby or an interest, but it still helps when you take an interest in a long standing passion of hers. If this means developing an appreciation for foreign films, so be it. This shows that you care about her and she’ll know you are one in a million.
Once you get the girl, it may seem like you don’t have to try anymore – at least as far as grooming goes. And, while women are less sensitive to looks than men are, they still like a man who makes an attempt. So, shave on weekends. Keep in touch with the latest fashion trends for men. In short, don’t get sloppy just because you’ve landed her. You can unland her just as easily.
She’s going to need to know that she can integrate you into her circle of family and friends. A man must be part of her larger life, especially after the first few weeks of passion are over. So, make an effort to get along with her girlfriends and impress her parents. A woman relies on her social network to validate her relationship choices. Make an effort.
You should always be considerate of her feelings. Women are less stable than guys. Part of this is hormonal. When you are sensitive to her mood, you won’t get on her bad side.
The final piece of advice on relationships is to be open to trying new things. At the beginning of a relationship, everything is new from the types of dates you arrange to the way you kiss. But, after a while, these things become routine. If you find that your relationship has fallen into a rut, shake things up. Try something new. It will go a long way to keeping your relationship healthy.
So, there are ten bits of advice on relationships to keep your dating life strong. Look you guys, these things are common sense and the fact is I almost drove my sweetheart out of my life because I didn't pay attention to what I was doing. There is a book that woke me up written by T 'Dub' Jackson called "The Magic Of Making Up". After I read it and began applying his common sense suggestions, our love life turned around.
Not only that all of my personal relationships, with friends, co-workers and my family have become much smother than they were before.
You might want to check out "The Magic of Making Up" yourself.
7 Ways to Build Trust in a Relationship
Do you know these 7 concrete ways to build trust in a relationship? Often, what really makes a relationship work are not the things we think of first. For instance, do you think you always need to spice things up? Wrong! Predictability is more important than variety in a relationship. The following seven methods are guaranteed to grow your connection by improving the level of trust in a relationship.
First, as I mentioned in the opening paragraph, you need to be predictable. This goes against the common notion that you need to “stir things up” to keep the romance alive. Sure, going to a new restaurant or giving a surprise gift can be nice, but most of all, we need things to be consistent and steady in order to make our relationships work. Consider that trust in a relationship is built on being reliable day in and day out.
Next, you need to make sure that your words always match the message. This means that your partner needs to hear the words which match your body language. If you say you are happy but you are frowning, your partner doesn’t hear your words, he or she sees your face and the tone in your voice. Your parter needs to be able to trust what you are saying. When the words match the message, you build trust in a relationship.
Third, you need to have a fundamental belief in your partner’s competency. If you don’t you won’t have the trust in a relationship that you need. When lovingly communicated, the truth is never destructive. When you do not believe that your partner is competent at some things (or indeed, anything), you violate the trust in a relationship.
Don’t keep secrets. Secrets destroy the trust in a relationship. Be honest and open. Assume everything you know will eventually come out. Secrets require enormous energy on your part. That is energy that could be going into building the relationship.
Fifth, don’t be afraid to let your partner know what your needs are. Don’ t make him or her guess what you need. Let them know. It is okay to be self-centered as long as you are not selfish. Indeed, if you are reluctant to assert your needs, you may go overboard in the opposite direction and smother your partner.
Sixth, learn to say no. When your partner voices his or her needs, that is a good thing. But you don’t need to say yes to everything. A partner cannot respect you if you never say no. Refusing to be subjugated to the other person’s will actually builds trust in a relationship.
Finally, always pursue growth. When you plant a flower, you begin by digging in the dirt. Digging in the dirt of our relationships can sometimes cause pain. But, through that pain, we prepare the soil for future growth. Don’t be afraid of turmoil, crisis, or questions. These become the fertilizer for growth and change. Embrace what is difficult.
When you decide to work on trust in a relationship, you are bound to encounter a little pain. But, as you work through this pain, you will not only become stronger as an individual, you will also strengthen your coupledom.
7 Steps on How to Save a Relationship
Do you really think that your relationship is worth saving? If you respond with a resounding yes, you need to dive into this how to save a relationship in 7 easy steps.
Jim works long hours and Lisbet doesn’t feel he is there for her. Lisbet spends all of her time meeting the children’s needs and Jim feels that she doesn’t have time for his needs? Can this relationship be saved? Should it be saved? Here’s how to save a relationship.
First, you must decide whether the relationship is worth saving. While almost every relationship can be saved with hard work, both parties must decide that they want to make it work. Because if a partner has opted out and doesn’t want to opt back in, there is little that can be done.
Many people stay in a relationship because it is convenient or remain in a marriage because of the children. But that is not enough. How to save a relationship starts with a commitment by both parties that the relationship is worth saving.
Next, you must pinpoint the problem or problems in a relationship. One of the biggest problems in how to save a relationship is that people believe the symptoms of the problem are the problem itself.
For instance, many people think an affair is a problem that causes break ups. In truth, the affair is a symptom of a deeper problem. For instance, a lack of true intimacy can lead to a straying spouse. While most people look at the affair as the problem, the underlying cause of the affair was the lack of intimacy in the primary relationship. If you do not deal with the lack of intimacy, you might be able to keep another affair from starting through the use of guilt, but another problem (for instance pornography) could pop up because you haven’t dealt with the core issue.
When you start to deal with core issues rather than symptoms, you can save the relationship.
Once you have identified the core problems, you can begin to share your thoughts. This means both verbalizing your own feelings and listening to your partner’s concerns. Hold your partner’s hand when you are talking about your problems as a signal that you want to reconnect even when your emotions are swirling. When your partner talks about things that hurt you remember that he or she is not doing it because he or she wants to hurt you. Rather it is because they want to improve the relationship.
Once you have detailed the problems in your relationship, create an action plan to solve them. Then, take concrete steps on your action plan. If you don’t spend time together like you used to, plan a date night every week. Take turns coming up with creative ways to spend an evening together each Wednesday. If not communicating is the problem, commit to spending 20 minutes before going to bed just talking to one another. And, then do it.
Finally, you should realize that saving a relationship is an ongoing process. You are going to take two steps forward only to take one step back. There is going to be both laughter and tears going forward. Be quick to apologize and slow to blame.
Is your relationship worth saving? If so, I’ve described in this article how to save a relationship.
Saturday, October 24, 2009
How to Get Your Girlfriend Back Many guys are always sending me emails full of questions about how to get their girlfriend back, so I want to make sure you understand this simple rules.
3 Simple Rules That Will Help You to Get Your Girlfriend Back
Rule No. 1 - There are many ways that will teach you how to get your girlfriend back, but only few will actually do it. Those are methods that are based on the female psychic and you need to understand how girls think. Believe me, we girls think differently about relationship. And we also expect things that you guys really have hard time to understand.
These psychic methods do work, yet many guys screw things up. So if you want to get your girlfriend back, you need to start studying the way we think.
Rule No. 2 - What the girl say is right. I know you will have hard time getting over this one, but you really need to. And for couple reasons. First of, you want to know how to get your girlfriend back, not the other way around. So you have a slight disadvantage over her. And by not following what she wants or wants you can forget about winning her back over to your side.
Rule No. 3 - Make sure she is still in love with you or at least interested in you. Then think of some clever ways to get her know that you did not lose your interest in her either. But do not call her 24/7 or do not become stalker. Always respect her space and words.
These are just the basic rules, but in the case you did not get it, the communication is the key for a success. So, if you want to get all the secrets on how to get your girlfriend back, make sure you have ongoing dialog between
each other and start slowly building her trust in you again.
When she sees you are genuine and really want to be with her, she will give you a second chance. Make sure she knows how important she is and how your life is very much out of sync without having her beside you. And do not forget to ask what she would expect from a great relationship with you and what she really hate.
Knowing these little rules and secrets will give you big advantage for your future partnership.